


Happy Accidents

by Annabellee86



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Age Play, Bloodplay, Canes, Crying, Erotic Electrostimulation, Flogging, Heavy BDSM, M/M, Men Crying, Needles, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pain, Painplay, Puppy Play, Rope Bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-11-29 15:05:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabellee86/pseuds/Annabellee86
Summary: An exceptionally kinky and love story.Duke pulled into the driveway and walked to the front door. They had exchanged body shots but never face shots, so Duke didn't know what he was walking into, but he raised his hand and knocked.When Nate opened the door and saw Duke, he thought Duke was playing some game and trying to ruin his weekend away, but the crestfallen look on Duke's face told him Duke was just as surprised and upset about the turn of events."Come in."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is not dark fic there won't be any rape and only cannon typical murder, but this is going to be an exceptionally kinky story with lots of heavy BDSM. Duke will be beaten and get off on the pain Nathan will cause the pain and get off on it. I am not tagging for everything because I don't want to spoil anything, but if you can do it in a kink scene, it may happen.
> 
> I also have no beta who had any idea about the cannon so if you are a fan of the show and want to beta, please let me know. I wanted to capture Duke and Nathan, but I am not sure I was able to.

I am stealing a line from one of my favorite writers Dira Sudis. Why write 100k of back story when you can write the smut. So ladies and gents you are getting a page of backstory.

Dom is the male; Domme is the female version. Dom can be used for both, but Domme is only used for females. I will be using both to show the difference in sex because they are both bisexual and they have both played with both sexes.

DM: Dungeon Monitor  
Wrapping a flogger: Watch the whole Vid I recommend it. I thought he did a good demo, but the part I have it starting at is what you need to watch to understand the term wrapping a flogger. https://youtu.be/7II5hT4DhpQ?t=2m  
Vampire Glove: add pic  
Violet Wand: Add link The violet wand has a large number of attachments. You can buy some from other people than the actual company who makes the base product. There is an attachment you can place on your skin that makes your whole body electric. When you touch someone, it shocks them. You can also do things like chain floggers or Wartenberg wheel. The wand can be run over someone's skin, or you can use the contact to be then able to use your hand to electrify things like needles or sounds, any matter of hurty things.

 

Nate lost his feeling for the second time on a fishing boat with Duke. Nathan was angry about Duke using him as cover for his smuggling. From then Nate hated Duke, not that Duke did much to make himself likable.

Before Nate lost his feeling for the second time, he enjoyed pain and submission. He never wanted to be a sub long term. He loved going to the club and someone controlling him and hurting him. The way Nate looked at it any feeling was a good feeling.

Duke was a sub and a hardcore masochist since very early in his sexual experiences. Unlike Nate, the submission was as important as the pain. He needed both to get off.

After Nate lost his feeling he couldn't get satisfaction from submission or pain. The few times he tried he became angry and frustrated

Duke found fet years ago with varying degrees of success. Most people weren't able to hurt him enough to get off. He found Dom/Dommes able to Dom him enough to get off. He Sadists who could hurt him enough, but never someone who could do both.

Duke started talking to a man on fet named Leaveubegging who seemed to be able to do both at least in the chat sessions.

They talked for a few weeks before Nate suggested a long weekend in an Airbnb in Portland. Duke accepted and started to make his plans.

Leaveubegging: Shave from your eyebrows down before you get to the house.

The single line had Duke half hard with anticipation. Six months ago someone Domed and hurt him enough to get off. The only reason he got off was her inexperience. She wrapped the flogger on about every other strike.

Most subs would have stopped her, hell, a good DM in a club would have stopped her. Duke knew she wouldn't have continued if she knew she was causing him as much pain as she was. He knew it was her inexperience causing the pain, but it'd been a very long time since he'd gotten off.

Nate got to the AirBB early and got ready. He brought all his toys. He'd planned out some scenes, but things changed, and he prepared for every eventuality. He'd be lying to say he didn't want to show his new sub all his toys.

Nate had a cross, a spanking bench he needed to get into the house and get set up along with all his other toys.

They talked about hard limits and soft limits before they agreed to meet. Duke might be a masochist, but he wasn't about to let himself get hurt. Leaveubegging: knew what was okay and what wasn't so Duke felt as comfortable as he could about his safety.

When Duke got ready he wondered if should clean himself out. Leaveubegging: had been very clear about what he was looking for, and he hadn't told him to clean himself. He deiced to skip the enema, but he shaved from head to toe.

Duke was nauseous all the way from Haven to Portland. Excitement, and fear of meeting Sadist, not to mention meeting up with a stranger for sex. Kinky sex ashamed Duke into not telling anyone he went.

Duke pulled into the driveway and walked to the front door. They exchanged body shots but never face shots, so Duke didn't know what he was walking into.

When Nate opened the door and saw Duke, he thought Duke was playing some game and trying to ruin his weekend. The crestfallen look on Duke's face told him Duke was as surprised and upset about the turn of events as he was.

"Come in."

Duke walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water without saying a word to Nate. Duke didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to go home, but part of him wanted to stay and get the pain and submission he needed.

Duke chugged his water and then refilled the glass. Walking back into the living room, seeing all the toys and the cross sitting waiting for him. Duke did his best to hold back tears. Six months since he gotten to played hard enough and he  was rung out and on edge by the lack of release.

"I didn't know it was you," Duke mumbled.

"Do you think I did."

Duke couldn't hold it back. "I need this; I know this doesn't matter to you but I need this. I don't want to wait to find someone else who wants to go as far as I need them to go. It's been six months since I played hard enough to get what I need and I am losing it because I need this."

Duke nodded, he hated sounding so needy and pathetic, but he was needy and pathetic. It had been so long, and he was on edge and rung out.

"I need this as well. We should play and then pretend we don't know about the other." Nate said.

Duke thought it would take more convincing to get Nate to agree. He didn't want to beg Nathan Wuornos of all people to hurt him, but he needed to be on his knees begging so it might work.

"Let's have dinner, and we can start. I planned on having dinner later, but we both need some time to prepare ourselves."

Duke wanted to make a smart comment, but Duke didn't think it would help his case, so he bit back his comment.

After dinner, Nate was much more prepared to start.

"I am going to treat you like any other play partner. Are you okay with me treating you this way? "

Duke thought about it and remembered all the things Leaveubegging told him he was going to do to him. Even if it was Nate he wanted them.

"Since we are only going to play this weekend can I tell you the things I want included in these scenes?" Duke asked.

"I will hear what you want, but it's my scene, and I will decide."

"I want you to cane me and needle me and use the Violet Wand."

Nate reeled at request Duke made. They were all things Duke had put on his favorites list, but not at all what Nate had planned. It was their first play session after all.

Nate wanted to start off  slowly and build. These  were meant to be getting to know you session. They should've had more opportunities to play. There was a certain amount of trust between them. 

Sure, Nate didn't trust Duke, but he did know Duke wouldn't ask for something unless he wanted to let Nate Do them. He also knew Duke wouldn't tell the whole town what a freak he was.

"Do you want me to use the Violet Wand on the needles or in a sperate session? We are here for three days."

"I would like the Violet Wand on the needles themselves."

Nate had seen it in a club a couple of times and a Domme did it to him once. It was one of the most painful things he'd ever experienced. He knew Duke was a masochist, but he didn't know he was this much of a pain slut.

"I am okay with doing both to you. I had planned to start off a little slower.

"Before we get started is there anything you want to talk about as equals or would you like to begin?"

"I need to go down for the whole weekend. I want to enjoy spending time with a Dom and not making decisions for a while. It's been so long without any real submission in my life."

"I can do that for you."

Nate  was shocked at how much he cared about the sub he was about to play with. They played enough online and talked enough about personal things. Nate felt like he knew the real Duke, not the Duke he portrayed to everyone. 

Nate cared about the sub he was hoping to play with for the foreseeable future. The fact it was Duke Crocker didn't change the way he wanted to protect and care for his sub.

Nathan never wanted a Little, but he was a very much a Daddy Dom type. He always took excellent care of his subs even if they weren't what he was looking for in a long-term play partner. Nate saw a lot of little traits in Duke over the past months. Duke had never mentioned a desire to be little but Nate saw a little finding inside the sub he played with online. 

When they talked Duke often mentioned his unhappy childhood and growing up far too young. Nate was sad at the thought of not getting to explore DD/lb with Duke.

"I am ready to start, before we do what are you safewords?"

"Green, Yellow, Red."

Nate smiled "Strip. On your knees. You will address me as Sir. Unless told otherwise."

Duke couldn't keep himself from obeying the order. He wanted to rebel and brat because it was Nate, but he couldn't help but start taking off his clothes and kneeling.

"Good boy."

Duke beamed. He was a good boy. He didn't want those words to make swell with pride but they did. He watched Sir for his next order.

Nate scritched Duke's hair as he knelt in front of him. Duke talked about needing praise when he played. Duke told him he would crash after their session if he didn't feel appreciated during the session. Duke talked it reminding him of his father, and the pain going from a release to punishment.

Nate felt a great sadness for Duke when he thought about that conversation now. He knew Mr. Crocker, and was never fond of him. Nate didn't know the extent of the damage he caused Duke. It wasn't like Duke ever shared his feelings with anyone let alone Nathan Wuornos. Duke shared those feelings with his Dom, and Nate felt a pang of regret this was a one time session.

Knowing facts about a man he knew his whole life was different than knowing about a man you were going to play with. Yes Nathan was fond of the sub he talked to online, it was different when you had known the boy the sub had been.

Nate also remembered causing Duke pain as a boy. Knowing now how much pain Duke was getting at home broke Nate's heart. Nate was at odds with Duke even as kids. It never went far past some insults and a few punches but knowing the abuse he was suffering at home it all felt cruel.

Nate drug out, Duke kneeling and getting him in the right mindset to play. Nate took his time playing with Duke's hair and making sure to tell Duke he was a good boy.

"Are you ready to be my good boy?"

"Yes, Sir," Duke said the words almost unintelligible with the speed he said them.

"Stand pet," Nate ordered reaching for Duke's hand and helping him to his feet. Nate could tell he was already under by the glassy look in his eyes. He must have needed this. Nate thought

Nate lead him to cross and put shackles on checking to make sure they weren't too tight or pinching in any way.

"Step onto the cross. Put your arms up."

Duke obeyed.

Nate clipped the short chains to Duke's wrists and ankles securing him to the cross.

Duke couldn't stop himself from testing the bonds yanking on them. Duke beamed at their restrictiveness.

Nate ran hands down Dukes back enjoying the feel of his strong muscles on his thin frame. Nate preferred female play partners, but he did enjoy a man's muscular body now and then. There was something about having someone submit when they could fight you off if they wanted.

Nate started on Duke's ass. He hated using his hand on a sub. The lack of sting always enraged him and reminded him of his lack of feeling. He wouldn't do it but it was the best way to start a play session.

Duke felt the sting on his ass. Nate hit harder than most Doms would hit on the first strike. Duke remembered Nate couldn't feel what he was doing to him. The Duke remembered their last time alone, and he felt a pang of guilt about their fishing trip. He thought of how it changed Nate's life. He couldn't focus on the memory; the pain was pushing him deeper into subspace.

Nate hit Duke's ass a few times before he ran his hand over his ass, then scraping his nails over the tender flesh. Duke yelped more out of shock than pain.

Nate walked so he could see Duke's eyes, what he saw was a more coherent looking Duke than he expected.

Nate caressed his face saying something about what a strong little slut he was. Duke was too far down to know if the comment was admiration or criticism. He was too far down to track and not far enough for a comment to wash over him.

Duke started panicking, it wasn't right Sir called him a good boy why was he telling him he wasn't good now. He began to fight against the pull of endorphins lifting his head to look at Nathan.

Nathan had no idea what happened, Duke purred like a kitten as he had spanked him. What happened to get him so upset. He looked like he was going to start crying if Nate didn't fix whatever was going on.

As Nate stood stroking his face, it dawned on him what he said. He meant the comment to be praise. Nathan thought back and wondered if he sneered when he spoke, had he made it sound like a slight. Nate back peddled playing with Duke's hair.

"What a strong boy you are. Are you going to take everything I have to give you aren't you? You are going to make me proud with how much you can take, aren't you?" Nate said making sure to show admiration for the man laid bare on his cross.

Duke felt pride well up in his chest. His Sir was proud of him. He hadn't failed him. He was a good boy. Duke slid back in the haze of subspace.

Nate watched Duke go from panicked and fighting to calm and relaxed. He made a mental note to be careful to praise Duke more  clearly . He couldn't help wondering exactly what his shitty ass father did to him to make his this fragile. Seeing the usually over cocksure Duke get hurt over something so small was so shocking. He focused, so he didn't do something else to hurt his sub. He never wanted to hurt a sub in a way he hadn't meant.

Nate breakdown during play a few times. It was easy to get emotional when you were in a fog, but Nate didn't want to take things there with Duke. He wouldn't take anyone so deep the first time they played. He knew Duke didn't have any aftercare and he didn't know how much aftercare Duke would allow him to give. Nate needed to be careful of causing him to drop.

Nate tousled Duke's hair and told him what a good boy he was before he started with the flogger. Nate worked his way over Dukes back. He didn't want to cause pain he wanted to make sure he was flying before they started with the needles and Wand.

Nate flogged him a few strokes before stopped and ran his hands down Duke's back. Sometimes he was sweet and caring sometimes he was cruel. Nate used his nails or a vampire glove to scratch the tender flesh. Duke wondered if Nate would spank him with the glove. Duke shivered at the thought.

Long before Duke wanted it to be over Nate was unhooking his feet from the cross. He could hear Nate talking to him, but he wasn't tracking what Nate was saying.

"Stay still you are still tied up."

"STAND STILL BOY!" Nathan said a little harsher trying to get Duke's attention before he fell and hurt one or both of them.

Duke stopped and stood stock still as Nate unhooked him. Duke felt like he had been a bad boy. His Sir yelled at him. He hadn't meant to be a bad boy, but he didn't know he needed to stay still. He was trying to be good.

Nate saw the sadness and fear on Duke's face as he turned him and helped him off the cross. Nathan wrapped his arms around Duke hugging him.

Duke melted into the embrace as Nate told him what a good boy he was. Nate wondered again why Duke was so delicate.

Nate knew he'd been harsh, but he didn't want Duke hurt. Duke seemed  easily offended. Nate wondered if it was because he waited so long to play. Nate also wondered if it was because it was Nathan Wornous he was submitting to. Nate hoped it was the former rather than the later.

Nate needed to be more careful Duke could drop, and with no one to take care of him a dropping would be difficult for Duke. Before they played, Duke told him he tended to drop. They talked about Duke's needs  regarding aftercare. All those plans were before they knew who the other was.

Nate should've talked about aftercare and dropping before they played. They were too far into playing to worry about dropping now. He'd do his best to make sure the session went well, but Duke would deal with whatever aftercare Nate gave.

Nate kept up his praise and petting until Duke's eyes had a glassy lost look to them.

"Good boy, now come lay down on the bench.  Just like that. Good Boy."

Nate lifted his legs up to rest on the arms of the spanking bench. Nate fought to get him on the bench the way he wanted. When Duke was on the bench the way he wanted him, Nate tied him to the bench. Nate never let his hand fall from Duke's body as he worked.

Nate  was satisfied by the position Duke was in on the bench. He was stable, and Nate could reach the entire back of his body as well as his face, cock and balls.

"I am going to step away to get the things I need, I won't leave the room, and you can call at any time." Nate said petting Duke's hair out of his face. Nate always found Duke's hair to be messy and ridiculous, but now he was all too happy to play with it.

Nate grabbed his needles and wand. Nate planned how he wanted the scene to go. When he got back to Duke, he made sure to make contact with him as soon as he got back. He could tell Duke wouldn't handle  being left untouched for extended periods of time. Nate thought a sensory deprivation scene would break Duke.

Nate wondered how Duke managed to go so long without playing. Nate hadn't had a satisfying play session in almost as long, but he got to play almost every other week. Nate wondered what it would be like to go so long between sessions.

"I will be back in a minute I need to get a couple more things." Nate had brought his whole toy box in case, but he hadn't set up the room to needle, so he needed a table and sharps box. It took Nate a few minutes to get everything ready. Nate was able to do most of it between pets of Duke's back and soft reassuring words.

"I am ready to get started. What are your safewords?"

"Green, Yellow, Red." Duke recited.

"What color are you now?"

"Green."

"Good boy."

Nate ran his hands up and down Duke's back a few times before he placed the first needle. Nate missed being able to feel skin when he played. He could see the jump in Duke's skin, but he couldn't feel the quiver or the tremble, and he missed it.

Duke breathed  deeply when the first needle went in, and by the tenth, he was panting. After the twenty-third, he was  constantly whimpering.

"You are such a good boy, you've been so brave, I am so proud of you, you were so good. What a good boy you are for me."

Duke let out a deep breath and relaxed as he laid there.

"What color?"

"Green."

As soon as Duke said green, Nate ran his hand over the needles sending them vibrating in Duke's back.

Duke's yelp had Nathan's cock hard as a rock. He'd been half hard since they started, but now it was completely hard.

"Good boy, you like it when I move them don't you?"

Duke whimpered even as he nodded. He wanted more. God help him he wanted more.

Nate ran his hand over Duke's back again and watched as his whole back and ass contracted. The movement causing the needles to move again on their own and hurt more. Nate laughed as he waved his hand over them a few more times.

"What color?"

"Green."

Nate hated his lack of feeling, but he loved it when it came to electric play. Most Doms wouldn't give their subs head while they were wearing the contact for the violet wand. But Nate couldn't feel it, and thus he could do whatever he wanted.

Nate grabbed the wand slidding the contact under the waistband of his jeans and moved so he could kiss Duke. He hadn't been sure he would kiss Duke so  intimately when they started, but now Nate knew he wanted to kiss Duke.

Duke moaned into the kiss. He didn't expect Nate to kiss him when he found out who he was, but Nate surprised him. Duke told Nate he loved kissing when they talked online, but he was still surprised when Nate kissed him.

The kiss deepened until Nate pulled back and turned to nibble on Duke's ear. Duke purred and writhed, his cock rubbing on the rubber of the bench. Almost as soon as he started to rub his hips on the bench Nathan's kiss shocked him on the hollow of his neck.

Nate  wickedly smiled as he heard Duke yelp and whimper as the first shock went through his neck.

Nate nibbled on his ear, and when he felt the shock this time it wasn't as unexpected, but it still hurt.

Every time he moved any part of his body it made the needles in his back throb and brought them back to the front of his mind. Duke, whiplashed from pleasure to pain as Nate alternated between kisses and shocks.

Nate ran his hand over the needles sending sparks through them as his hand passed over them. Duke was whimpering with the barest hints of tears in his eyes as Nate ran his hand over his back again.

Every time Nathan ran his hand over Duke's back it took him a solid minute for the pain to stop. A minute was about as long as Nate gave him between passes. Keeping Duke on edge and unable to relax.

Nate enjoyed the sounds Duke was making as he went from blissed out to shocked. He would moan and whimpering in turn. Nate couldn't be happier to be playing with this man. He'd never had a sub so eager for pain.

Nate quelled the sadness of this being a one-time thing. He needed to focus on the here and now and not get wrapped up in the fact he would never play with Duke again.

Nate ran his tongue down Duke's spine. He left the needles far enough apart so he could get to Duke's spine. Duke was whimpering for a whole other reason when Nate got to his tight hole. Nate ran his tongue around Duke's hole as he moaned and ground his cock against the bench.

Nate let him grind himself on the bench for longer than he would if he weren't planning something so wicked. Nate was poking his tongue into Duke's hole when he turned the Wand back on and shocked. The shock was both inside Duke's rectum and around his anus.

Duke's anus clamped along with every muscle in his body, the needles moving and making him scream.

Much to Nate's shock and excitement Duke came. Duke's back and anus still clenching, and the shock still going through his body. Nate felt the wave of endorphins flooding his bloodstream as he came as well.

Nate licked Duke's cute, little asshole as he rode his orgasm to its end. Nate was so pleased with himself and his boy.

"Good boy." Nate murmured into Duke's ass he licked him.

Duke couldn't believe how hard he came from what they did. It wasn't  nearly as much pain as he  typically needed to cum. He wanted to keep playing, but he wasn't sure what Nate wanted.

As he rode his orgasm to its end, he became more and more aware of what was going on, and the more worried he was becoming. He came without permission. He'd been a bad boy not a good boy like he wanted to be.

No Dom had let him cum without permission, unless they told him he was able to cum whenever he wanted. Nate hadn't said he could cum without permission, he hadn't said he couldn't, but he hadn't said he could.

Nate could almost hear the gears spinning in his boys head. It was clear Duke needed everything spelled out for him when he was down.

Nate ran his hand over the needles still in Duke's back and  quietly said STOP.

The pain brought Duke's focus back and stopped the thoughts from spinning in his mind. Duke wanted to cry it all felt like too much.

"You are a good boy. You did  beautifully ; you were such a good boy. I came too. I didn't expect to cum as  quickly as I did either. I didn't tell you not to cum, so you aren't in trouble. You were a good boy.

"You are my beautiful sweet boy. You took so much pain for me; you were so brave. You took more pain than any other sub I have played with in a very long time. You were a good boy. Such a good boy. My good boy. I am so proud of you. You were so good. You are smart and sweet and oh so good."

Duke could feel his eyes welling up with tears as Nate told him how good he was. A Domme once  utterly broke him, and when he was so lost in his head, she had told him how perfect and beautiful he was. Duke had bawled for hours.

He felt the same way now as he did then. He wondered if his reaction was because the Dom he was playing with was Nathan. 

Nate knew him and didn't like him very much, the fact Nate didn't like him made it mean so much more than other Doms. He made a man who didn't like him proud of him. He was too far down to think about such dark things.

Nate saw this done with other subs before, but he never did it. He hadn't meant to do it now, but it was happening. He knew he couldn't stop now. He had to ride this out with Duke. Nate pulled the first of the needles out of Duke's back.

If things were different, he would take his time drawing out the pain, but right this minute he wanted them out. He needed to get Duke up off the bench and get him on the couch with some water and a blanket.

Nate finished with the needles and rubbed some AandD on Duke's back. Nate unhooked Duke from the bench as fast as he could, and made sure to never let his hand fall from Duke's back. A feat much harder than it looks for a man who can't feel anything, but he managed.

Duke could hear Nate talking to him. Nate kept up his litany of sweet words as he worked. Duke was so relieved when Nate didn't take his hand off his back.

"Sit for me."

Duke did as told, feeling groggy as he sat. Nate kept his hand on him and helped him sit. When Duke was vertical Nate wrapped him in the soft blanket he brought from. Duke was happy to have his fuzzy blanket. The blanket felt good on his sore back and the fact it was his made it all the better.

The only thing was Duke hadn't unpacked his bag. He knew he hadn't taken the wubby out of his bag. He'd been so focused on who was in the room with him. He didn't pay attention to getting his aftercare items out. He was so good about having his things ready for after he played.

Duke had a few Doms who  were done with him as soon as they came. Duke didn't like not  being prepared for the eventuality of having to take care of himself. So he made sure everything he could want was ready to go. Today he didn't.

"Drink." Nate said handing him a bottle of water with a straw so he could navigate the bottle. Nate pressed his body up against Duke's playing with his hair as Duke drank.

"Good boy. Drink a little more. Good boy."

Duke felt better, but he was still crying as Nate handed him a square a dark chocolate with salt and caramel. Duke let the square melt  slowly , as soon as he  was done Nate gave him a second piece. After the 4th piece, and Nate helped him stand and lead him to the couch so he could hug him.

Nate was still a bit thrown off by Duke's reaction, but he was focusing on taking care of Duke. He would think about why it had been such a powerful scene for Duke later.

Nate pulled Duke, so he was on his lap on the couch.

"I am so proud of you. You took so many needles for me; no one has taken so many needles for me before. You cried so  prettily for me. You were so beautiful when I hurt you. You took it so well. You are a good boy. You would make anyone a good sub. You make me proud. You were a good boy. I want you to know how special you are to me.

"You are such a good pet. You took so much pain for me; it was beautiful to see you weeping at what I did to you. I came before I even fucked you. Your pain was so delicious I came without even getting my cock in your sweet little hole. No ones been able to take enough pain for me to cum without the physicality of penetration. You are my good boy. I will always be proud of you. You are so rare a sub to play with; you deserve to  be treasured ."

Duke wept as Nate praised him for what he felt had been a failed scene. He could take so much more pain than he had taken tonight. How could Nate think he was a good boy when he failed him. He wanted to be good, but he wasn't. He would never be a good boy.

It shocked Nate how upset Duke was at the praise. He thought the praise would calm him, but it was upsetting Duke more. Nate wondered if he should stop and let Duke relax. Nate saw this happen before and the Dom who played with the sub held him and praised him until he calmed down.

Nate hoped he was doing the right thing. He worried it was the wrong choice to continue to appreciate Duke. Nate's fear to stop praising Duke. He feared stopping would cause Duke drop hard enough to cause lasting issues. A bad drop could take Duke months to recover from. Their relationship was so precarious. Nate feared he would leave Duke broken with no one to care for him after this weekend.

Nate stopped talking after twenty minutes and held Duke. Nate gave him water and chocolate until he stopped crying. Nate wanted to ask a million questions but he knew asking Duke to think right now would make things worse. Nate sat and held Duke until Duke stood.

"Are you going to be able to stand on your own."

"Yes, Nathan I will be able to pee all by myself unless you want to watch."

Nathan realed at how  quickly Duke had gone from crying to the sardonic brat he was. Nathan took the opportunity to clean up and make sure everything was out of the way, and no sharps were out of place. Nathan counted them as he took them out but he wanted to make sure. He'd walk on a needle until he saw blood, so he needed to be extra careful.

"Now who's brain is working overtime?"

Nate looked to see Duke standing in the doorway looking like everything was right with the world. Duke gave his come fuck me or fuck off look to Nathan. It was the perfect tableau if Duke's eyes weren't all red and puffy from crying.

Nate glared remembering why he didn't like Duke Crocker.

Duke couldn't help but smile at the way he was able to get under Nate's skin. Duke wanted things to go back to normal. He wanted the regular banter they had. Duke didn't care the banter wasn't based on love or even mutual respect. He wanted to get away from the mess he'd been during the scene.

Duke knew they would go back to Haven and Nate would go back to being Detective Wuornos. He knew he would go back to being the  slightly less than criminal man Nate spent so much time trying to arrest. It hurt to think the scene they experienced together wouldn't affect Nate. Duke didn't think it would no matter how much he wanted it to. Duke shocked himself with the thought.

Duke didn't want to see kindness in Nathan's eyes. Duke thought he would break if he saw the kindness and care he saw in Nathan during the scene when he wasn't all floaty. Duke thought the pain of seeing Nate's kindness replaced by malice and anger would break him.

Duke decided it would be better if he never saw compassion and tenderness in Nate's eyes when he was present. It was going to be bad enough to have seen it when he was foggy and flying.

Remembering Nathan, when he was alone on his boat longing for someone to submit to, was already going to be too much. He didn't want to have the memory of Nathan looking at him like he would make everything all better for him.

 


	2. Personal Issues

I wanted to give people who are reading my stories a heads up. I have been having a tough time with my depression. I have every intention of finishing my stories, but I am having a terrible time getting myself to write lately. I am doing good to get up shower and be at work on time, so writing isn't happening. I am trying to get to a place where I can write again, but as of right now I am putting all my works into hiatus. I am sorry. I am a reader, and I hate when my stories get put on hiatus so please believe I am writing this with a heavy heart I just can't get my shit together to write. 

I am sorry, and I will try to get back to writing ASAP

Thanks  
Sarah


End file.
